Watch from 00:17:05 where Dayna is introduced
Thank you so much for having me; it’s truly an honor to be part of this discussion. I appreciate how far along you already are in understanding something that many people are just beginning to grasp—the true intent behind public schooling.
My journey started almost 23 years ago when I had my first child. I gave birth in a hospital, but I chose a natural birth with a midwife. At the time, this was considered somewhat radical because most women opted for obstetricians. It was an extraordinary experience, and it profoundly shaped who I am today.
While everyone around me was relying on the medical system with its tools, drugs, and protocols, I chose a different path. I didn’t want to relinquish my power to a system; I wanted to fully experience the transformative process of bringing life into the world. That decision was empowering beyond words. The experience awakened something in me—an understanding of how capable we are when we trust our bodies and our instincts. It was so powerful that I wanted to share this with others. I wanted other women to know what was possible and to feel the same sense of transformation that I did.
After my son was born, I was holding him in my arms, still in awe of what had just unfolded. Then, just a few minutes later, the nurses entered the room. They’d finished the typical post-birth cleanup, and suddenly they turned on the television. I thought it was strange, and I wasn’t sure what was going on. They began speaking to each other in hushed tones, saying, “Something’s happening. Something’s going on.” On the screen, I saw the Columbine school shootings unfolding live.
It was surreal—there I was, holding my newborn baby, full of hope and love, and right in front of me were scenes of children jumping out of windows and parents sobbing in unimaginable grief. That juxtaposition hit me hard. It was the first time I had ever even heard of a school shooting, and it completely shattered something in me. I started thinking deeply about the relationship between children, schools, and families.
In that moment, I wondered how many parents and children involved in that tragedy had wished they could have stayed home together that day. How many of those children didn’t want to go to school because they had other dreams or interests they wanted to pursue? How many parents longed for the freedom to raise and educate their children in ways that felt meaningful and safe? It became clear to me that day that most families don’t even realize they have a choice. They don’t know there’s another way.
That experience became the foundation of my parenting philosophy and ultimately my decision to unschool. I realized that mainstream parenting—and the entire public school system—is built on the idea of compliance, control, and a lack of respect for children’s rights. This system doesn’t prioritize children as individuals with unique needs, desires, and passions. Instead, it’s about enforcing rules, schedules, and a one-size-fits-all agenda.
From the very beginning, I wanted something different for my children. I wanted them to have the freedom to decide for themselves—to choose whether they wanted to attend school or not, and to grow up in an environment where their voices mattered. Now, looking back as a mother of four, I can see how that decision has shaped our lives in the most beautiful ways. My oldest, Devon, is now 23; my second oldest, Tiffany, is 20; Ivy is 17, and my youngest, Orion, is 14. Over the years, they’ve always chosen to remain in a partnership-based paradigm at home rather than stepping into the authoritarian dynamics of traditional schooling.
When I started this journey, I didn’t even know there was a term for what I was doing. I didn’t know “unschooling” existed as a movement or philosophy. It simply felt like the right path for our family. Most of the homeschoolers I knew were still replicating the same rigid structures of the school system at home. Their focus was on obedience, behavior modification, and strictly following state-approved curricula. That didn’t resonate with me at all. I believed then—and I still believe now—that we aren’t all meant to follow the same path in life. It makes no sense to force every child to learn the same curriculum in the same way when their interests, talents, and purposes are so diverse.
Over the years, my journey led me to connect with incredible people who shared my vision. One of the most influential figures in my life was John Taylor Gatto. He was a brilliant educator and thinker, and his work deeply validated everything I was already feeling. John became a close mentor and friend, and he encouraged me to write my first book. His support and wisdom were invaluable as I navigated this uncharted territory of unschooling and advocating for alternative ways of learning and parenting.
It’s funny—looking back, I never imagined myself in this role. I grew up incredibly shy and insecure. The idea of speaking in public terrified me, and I never thought I had it in me to do what I’m doing now. But over time, I realized that my fear wasn’t about public speaking itself. It stemmed from being forced to talk about things I didn’t care about in front of people who didn’t care about me. That’s the nature of the traditional education system—it strips away authenticity and replaces it with compliance. Once I found my voice and my passion, everything changed. I discovered that when you’re speaking your truth, the fear melts away.
This journey has been one of the greatest gifts of my life—not just for me but for my entire family and for so many others I’ve had the privilege of connecting with. It’s been a process of healing, growth, and empowerment, and I’m continually amazed by what’s possible when we trust ourselves and our children. I never planned to become an advocate for this movement, but I’ve been guided here by something much bigger than myself. It’s an honor to walk this path and to help others see what’s possible when we choose respect, freedom, and partnership over control.