We take it from our children starting in preschool, then once they hit their teen years, we are trying to give it back to them. We see that the spark that they once had is missing. It’s their self-love and inner knowing. The institution of traditional parenting and school is set up in such a way that parents end up believing that they need to help instill self-worth to children. It seems a prevalent idea that self-esteem and confidence is something that needs to be gained or built.
Our Unschooled children, who are growing up in a partnership paradigm, never lose the self-worth that all humans are naturally born with. From the moment we come into this world, our default setting is to love ourselves. It is all part of human survival. You do not see an animal in the wild insecure or living with low self-esteem. It isn’t something that needs to be gained or instilled in children, unless kids are robbed of it through living a life where others value obedience and conformity above a child’s own needs and desires.
In the old paradigm, parents and educators create the very problems they are trying to later fix. In the same way a doctor’s preventative actions often times cause problems in birth, the current parenting model creates low self-esteem and insecurity that it later tries to fix and then it seems that the institution is to actually thank for their child feeling better about themselves! How twisted is that?! The traditional role of a parent and educator is what caused the child to lose their inner knowing and self-love to begin with!! How much work we create for ourselves as a culture, when all we have to do is shift in how we are doing things. The authoritarian paradigm is old school!
A partnership paradigm is natural, organic, and authentic. This philosophy is on the leading edge of thought, and more and more parents are waking up to see the reality of all they are creating in their children from parenting from the old model. Haven’t we learned how damaging it is to demand obedience and use punishments and rewards to control another human being? There is another way and it is called Radical Unschooling.
When we are living a life in the new paradigm, kids never lose their inner knowing of Who They Are. They do not need to rely on others telling them their greatness to know their greatness. I find it fascinating that my children do not care what others think about them. This doesn’t mean that they don’t care about others’ feelings or needs. On the contrary, my children have a great deal of empathy for others. They just do not value what others think of them as any reflection of how they measure their own self-worth.
Children love themselves unconditionally when they are loved without conditions.
This is the power of partnership, connection and Unschooling!