Sharing Sleep Cultivates Confidence & Independence

Orion is almost 10 and we still co-sleep. All of our children have slept in our bed, which has evolved over time. At one point all six of us were in one room with two queen beds and two twins all pushed together to form one enormous bed! It was so cozy! Right now there is only one twin pushed next to a queen. Orion is the last in with us sharing sleep and I cherish every moment with him. I know that soon, he will want to be in his own room.

I know that our culture rushes children to grow up too quickly. Parents are told that if you don’t force your children to be independent, they never will be. Nothing could be further from the truth! Children whose dependant needs are met grow into independence as strong, confident and whole people, compared to children who have had their needs ignored because an expert said they should be more independent at an arbitrary age. However, an unmet need doesn’t just go away because a parent refuses to meet it. The unmet needs warps into dysfunction that forms their personality and their ability to connect and trust other people.

I have respected all of our children in this way, and they have all grown to be, strong, confident, independent individuals. I will continue to savor every moment that Orion needs me. I love waking up to his sweet face and to him holding my hand. I am raising strong, capable, loving, compassionate, nurturing people by meeting their needs and never holding back my love out of fear that honoring them will somehow ruin them. I am so grateful that I have had the strength to follow my heart and honor theirs.

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Dayna Martin is an author and speaker who is known as, the UnNanny. She has dedicated her life to educating others through her writing, television appearances and speaking on the topic of facilitating educational freedom for children. Dayna is the most renown voice on the subject of Radical Unschooling and peaceful parenting, worldwide. She educates and empowers people to become self-directed educational facilitators and their children’s partners in life. She inspires parents and educators to let go of learning limits and instead, give freedom for internally motivated learning, peace and freedom to flourish.

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