Jeff Probst: As a kid, did you ever wonder what it would be like if there were no rules? Remember wishing you could just do whatever you wanted? Well, Dayna Martin believes her four children should have the freedom to make their own decisions, even when it comes to school. Dayna, this concept of unschooling—your kids decide what they study, how they study, and what they do with their day?
Dayna Martin: That’s right. Unschooling is a form of homeschooling, but it’s different in that we don’t follow a curriculum. Most homeschoolers buy a curriculum and mimic the traditional school model at home—sitting kids at the kitchen table and going through the same steps. With unschooling, my kids learn through their interests and passions. It’s a joyful, self-directed process, and there’s no forced learning involved.
Jeff: So you don’t set a curriculum at all?
Dayna: None at all.
Jeff: And how old are your kids?
Dayna: I have four kids—two boys and two girls—ages 5, 8, 11, and 13.
Jeff: So you’re telling me that these kids decide what they do all day, every day?
Dayna: Yes, they do.
Jeff: Is that legal?
Dayna: It is. Unschooling is legal in all 50 states.
Jeff: Let’s say your oldest, Devon, wanted to spend the week playing video games, downloading apps, and eating Twinkies. Could he do that?
Dayna: He could—but in reality, that’s not what happens. When kids are given the freedom to make their own choices, they tend to make good ones. You’d be surprised.
Jeff: Is that something you knew going into this, or something you learned along the way?
Dayna: I’ve been researching unschooling since Devon was born. Interestingly, just a few hours after his birth, I saw live footage of the Columbine tragedy on TV. It profoundly impacted me, and I decided in that moment that my kids would always have a choice in their education. Unschooling isn’t anti-school—it’s about freedom. Schools should be a resource, like libraries. But when a child is forced to attend, it changes the way they engage with learning.
Jeff: Does Devon study math?
Dayna: Math, like other subjects, is integrated into life. It’s a tool, just like reading and writing, and it comes up naturally in everyday experiences like baking or building. Devon doesn’t sit down to study math with a workbook, but he learns it as he needs it.
Jeff: If I asked Devon, “What’s 8 times 8?” would he know the answer?
Dayna: He might, but quizzing him wouldn’t reflect how he engages with learning. It’s not about rote memorization; it’s about knowing how to find solutions and apply them in meaningful ways.
Jeff: So as an unschooling mom, you’re not a teacher?
Dayna: Correct. I’m a learning facilitator. My role is very hands-on—I connect my kids with resources, mentors, and opportunities to explore their interests. It’s not for lazy parents; it requires being present and engaged.
Jeff: What does a typical day look like for Devon?
Dayna: Every day is different, depending on his interests. Right now, he’s into freerunning, skiing, and music. He taught himself to play the drums and even joined a band. He learns by doing and pursuing what excites him.
Jeff: Devon, how do you decide what to do with your day?
Devon: I just follow what feels good. I love my life and feel great doing what I enjoy.
Jeff: Do you have friends in similar situations, or are they mostly in school?
Devon: Most of my friends are unschooled. It’s a great community.
Jeff: Dayna, seeing Devon here—confident and well-spoken—are you proud of him?
Dayna: Incredibly proud. My goal is for my kids to be happy and to grow into who they’re meant to be, not who I think they should be.
Jeff: That’s what stands out to me. You don’t have expectations for who they should become, and that’s such a refreshing perspective. Thank you both for sharing your story.
Dayna: Thank you, Jeff. It’s been a pleasure.