You do not have to live perfectly, to be the perfect parent for your children. When we can admit our mistakes, flaws and issues, we are able to model one of the greatest aspects of being human – the ability to change. We have to *live* the reality of being human to it’s fullest extent for our children to see what life is truly about. Most of our parents didn’t show us much of their inner landscape.They were trained to believe it would be wrong to do so. Our parents, and most parents today, have such crushing pressure to be something they are not, in order to be “good” parents. They are told to become “tough, “consistent” and essentially withhold love, through control, punishments, shame and forced compliance to teach children how to survive in the world.
That way of living with children only benefits those in power and have no doubt, it hurts parents as much as it does their children, to live in such an unnatural way together. As parents on the brink of a new paradigm, we need to be brave enough to admit our mistakes. We have to be vulnerable enough for our children to see us cry. We need to be compassionate enough to change our minds when we see another perspective and we need to be confident enough to become aware of and heal our deep inner wounds.
We need to let down the cultural armor that we’ve been forced to build up over the years to survive in a broken world. Slowly, with self-love and forgiveness, we can learn to take off our protective armor, piece by piece, knowing that we are finally safe and there is nothing for us to fear anymore.
Have no doubt – we are broken! De-conditioning takes years and finding ourselves beneath it all takes great effort and inner work. It’s a messy and sometimes scary experience, but there is no other way to become who we have always wanted to be and who we would have been long ago, had we not been conditioned to be something else to survive.
Our children need to see how we pick up our broken pieces in our lives when we make mistakes – and we will make them! We don’t have to hide them anymore because someone will make fun of us, shame us or punish us. Now is the time to let down all that we’ve been forced to build up since childhood, when we needed to protect our sensitive selves. We need to become what our children need to navigate their world in a healthy, loving and peaceful way. We need to walk through the fire of our souls and look deeply at what we need to change within ourselves and leave a trail of armor behind us. We don’t need it anymore and trust me, your children don’t want it either.