Thank you so much for having me here. It’s an honor to share my thoughts with you today. I want to start by asking a question: How many of you consider yourselves compassionate? It’s something we often pride ourselves on, but I’d like to dive deeper into what compassion truly means. At its core, compassion is about suffering with someone and wanting to help. Interestingly, the opposite of compassion, if you look it up in the dictionary, is tyranny.
I believe compassion is an instinct we’re all born with. It’s a natural part of who we are as humans, designed to connect us and encourage us to help each other. Unfortunately, this instinct is often trained out of us by the very systems we grow up in. From birth, in our culture, we’re taught to prioritize the needs of those in power over our own and to suppress that innate compassion. Nowhere is this clearer than in the way most of us were parented—and in the way many of us still parent our children today.
Compassion in Parenting
When I became a mother, I experienced this firsthand. After the birth of my first child, the nurses at the hospital immediately told me not to hold him too much because, they said, he would manipulate me. I remember thinking, “How could this tiny, innocent baby manipulate me? That feels so wrong.” That moment was a turning point for me. I started to question the so-called experts and instead turned to my son for guidance. I chose to trust him.
As I dove deeper into peaceful parenting, I realized how deeply ingrained the authoritarian parenting model is in our society. So much of traditional parenting revolves around obedience, compliance, and meeting the parent’s needs—whether it’s for uninterrupted sleep, quiet, or control. Popular media, like Supernanny, reinforces this by focusing on behavior modification, teaching parents to control their children rather than understand them.
I want to challenge that paradigm. Behavior is communication, especially in children. When a child yells, hits, or acts out, it’s often because they’ve already tried more peaceful ways to communicate but were ignored. What if instead of focusing on punishing behavior, we focused on truly listening to their needs?
I showed a few video clips from Supernanny to illustrate how authoritarian methods are normalized. One clip showed a four-year-old girl trying to express her need to pick out her baby sister’s clothes. Instead of acknowledging her need, her mother was trained to focus solely on controlling her behavior. The little girl’s frustration and sadness were completely dismissed. Watching that as a parent was heartbreaking.
Another clip showed a seven-year-old girl who didn’t want to finish her dinner. Her parents’ only concern was enforcing obedience, so they put her on a “naughty step.” Again, her feelings and needs weren’t considered at all. Instead, the focus was entirely on compliance.
This type of parenting teaches children some harsh lessons: that their needs don’t matter, that power rules, and that the way to get what you want is through force and control. It also teaches them to lie, sneak, and manipulate to meet their needs.
We don’t have to parent this way. Partnership-based parenting, the approach I’ve embraced and advocate for, prioritizes the needs of everyone in the family equally. It’s not about being permissive or hands-off—it’s about being present, listening, and working together to meet each other’s needs. Yes, it takes more effort and presence, but the results are incredible. My children are happy, compassionate, and empowered, and our relationship is built on trust and respect.
Compassion Beyond Parenting
Compassion doesn’t stop with parenting. For me, it extends to all areas of life, including the choices we make about the food we eat. I became a vegan three years ago, thanks to my daughter Tiffany, who’s been vegan for six years. I’ve learned so much about the lies we’re told about “humane” and “cruelty-free” animal products. I used to believe those labels made a difference, but the reality is far from compassionate.
I shared a short video that exposes the truth about practices like free-range farming and “humane” slaughter. These terms are designed to ease our guilt as consumers while still supporting the same system of exploitation. Seeing this footage for the first time was hard, but it opened my eyes. It’s a simple question: If it’s not good enough for your eyes, how can it be good enough for your stomach?
Living the non-aggression principle means expanding our compassion to all living beings. It’s not about being perfect or judging others—it’s about making more informed, compassionate choices whenever we can.
A Call to Action
The truth is, we’ve all been lied to—in parenting, in education, in the food industry, and beyond. But the good news is, we can change. We can reawaken the compassion that’s inside us and live in alignment with our values. Whether that means embracing peaceful parenting, reconsidering our food choices, or simply questioning the systems we’ve been conditioned to accept, every step matters.
When you leave here today, I hope you’ll feel inspired to make more compassionate choices. Be a voice for children by opposing authoritarian parenting practices disguised as “compassionate.” Advocate for animals by rejecting the cruelty of the meat and dairy industries. And most importantly, keep expanding your awareness and living with integrity.
Thank you so much for being here and for being open to these ideas. Together, we can create a more compassionate world.