“Hi, everyone! Thank you so much for having me here. This is my first time speaking on stage in five years, since before COVID. I grew up in Nashua, New Hampshire, and raised my kids here. Funny enough, even though I’ve never been to PorcFest before, I flew all the way from Miami, where I’ve lived for the past four years, just to be here. This moment feels special, especially since my husband, Joe (or ‘Biggy’), is here, and it’s his first time ever seeing me speak publicly. Thank you for the warm introduction and this wonderful opportunity.
I never planned to be an advocate for the life I live—it happened naturally. My journey began with the birth of my first child, Devon. I have four kids: Devon, 25; Dakota, 22, who now goes by Tiffany; Ivy, 19; and Orion, 16. Motherhood completely transformed my life. My desire for a natural birth led to my first transformative experience, and when I held Devon for the first time, it unleashed something profound in me—I felt reborn. That moment marked the beginning of questioning everything about how I wanted to parent and live.
I’ll never forget the day Devon was born. Hours after his birth, while nursing him, the nurses turned on the television, and the Columbine shootings were happening live. It was surreal—holding new life in my arms while watching other mothers lose their children. That moment made me question children’s rights and the conventional schooling system. I thought, ‘How many of those parents or children wished they didn’t have to be at school that day?’ My choice to homeschool wasn’t fear-based, though. It was about giving my children the freedom to choose whether they wanted to attend school. They’ve always had that choice—and not surprisingly, they’ve never chosen it.
What we practice goes beyond traditional homeschooling. It’s a philosophy called radical unschooling. Unschooling means living as though school doesn’t exist. My kids have never been forced to do a workbook page, take a test, or follow a curriculum. And yet, they’ve grown into happy, capable people pursuing careers they love. Watching them thrive affirms that learning happens naturally and joyfully when it isn’t forced.
Many parents struggle to trust this approach because of deep societal conditioning. Schools and authority figures have taught us to break life into subjects, believe in rigid learning timelines, and assume schools are the only places children can truly learn. None of this is true. Learning is everywhere—especially now, with unlimited resources available online and in the real world. Schools are outdated, one-size-fits-all institutions that don’t reflect the incredible opportunities for learning available today.
My role as an unschooling parent isn’t to act as an authoritarian teacher. Instead, I’m a learning facilitator. I bring as many resources as possible into my children’s lives to nurture their passions. For example, when Devon was five, he loved Legos. To facilitate his interest, I subscribed to Lego Magazine, baked a Lego-themed cake (teaching math through measurements), and took him to a Lego exhibit that also taught history. With every passion, my goal was to provide materials and experiences for him to learn from joyfully.
One major misconception is that unschooling is neglectful or permissive. It’s not. In fact, it requires more effort, creativity, and presence than authoritarian parenting. When you parent in partnership with your children, you focus on the needs behind their behavior, rather than punishing or controlling them. For example, when Devon was four, he wanted to light matches. Instead of forbidding it, I supervised him, taught him how to do it safely, and turned his curiosity into a learning experience. That initial interest in fire eventually led to his career as a blacksmith and a fire performer. By saying ‘yes’ while being present, I supported his growth safely.
Parenting in partnership also means prioritizing connection over control. Traditional parenting focuses on behavior modification—obedience, punishments, and rewards. But I want parents to ask themselves: Do you care more about what strangers think of you than what your children think of you? For me, my children’s trust and connection come first. When kids feel respected and understood, they turn to you for guidance. That’s what true leadership in parenting looks like—not authoritarian control, but mentorship and partnership.
When we talk about freedom, it includes everything—bedtimes, media, and even food choices. My kids have always had the freedom to make their own decisions, including what they eat. For years, I was vegan, but when one of my kids wanted steak, I cooked it for him. No personal agenda comes before my children’s autonomy. This approach creates trust, where my children believe me when I give them information about health, safety, or anything else.
I understand that this parenting style is radically different from what most people know. Many parents assume their role is to shape their children into ‘good’ people through discipline and control. But I believe children are inherently good. When you parent from a place of trust, respect, and compassion, you raise confident, kind, and self-motivated individuals.
For those of you new to this philosophy, I encourage you to start with empathy. Think back to your own childhood and how it felt to be misunderstood, controlled, or punished. Remember what it was like to be your child’s age, and use that understanding to approach parenting with compassion. Children don’t need to be coerced or punished to learn; they need guidance, trust, and freedom to explore their world safely.
Unschooling and radical parenting are as much about healing ourselves as they are about raising free children. As adults, we’re still unlearning the conditioning we grew up with. Deschooling ourselves can be challenging, but it’s a liberating process. Our children deserve to grow up in a world where their freedom and individuality are respected.
I’m so grateful to share this journey with you all. If you have questions or need guidance, please reach out—I’m happy to help you explore this incredible path. Thank you so much for having me here today!”